Booo! Well....

If you're reading this. Good, thenk you.
Why are you not commenting? Comments make me write more. And more.
I'm just gonna keep this short, I've a depression coming up.
I got rejected from the college I wanted to get in most(first told that the course I wanted to get in most was full, then applied etc, got the interview, got rejected. Booo. Coupling that, academically, I've only known failure since I've done elementary, my brains are continiously telling me that I'm going to fail my exams.
Right now my throat is throbbing for now reason. And great, my stomach is aching.
Well this is DD logging off for the last time most likely.

Heck, I don't care if you flame or whatsover, any comments would be nice.

Woah

Sorry for the delayed update.
Note to self : Update blog when promised. Otherwise will delay plan to addict mankind to this blog.

But a lot has happened. Well, from a teenagers view, I mean. ;)

Now.....Solliciation letter? Eventually wrote it in the weekend of the 24th orso and delivered it on the monday. I think. My memory is unclear....

College interview! Now with international people!

It was a dark and stormy afternoon, silence roamed the train except the noice that it itself made.

No, scrap that. I'm not trying to write bad fanfiction here.

The trainsystem was good as usual. My annoyance/hate of busses is still there. The system is just so confusing. And it doesn't help that my paranoid brain is always making me worry that I'm gonna or that I've taken the wrong bus.

So I headed straight from exams to where the school is.
Yaaaay, public transport.

If you didn't see the sarcasm there, then I recommend you go see a eyedoctor.

Sooooo, I was there around a hour early. The joys of sitting on a bench outside or later a cafetaria. Pretending to listen to music to keep people from asking why the heck I'm there. Yes, a bit asocial. Sorry fans.(Will try better next time, Tia, if you're reading this.)
Wait, it was that way, wasn't it?
Bor has the minions, Rabbit has the adorers and I have the fans, right?
Oh well.

Anyway, after almost a hour was up, I went in again. Didn't find it. Found three other english speaking people wandering around. Asked them if they were here for the same interview. Said yes. So I was hanging out at the back of the group, talking to a girl. (Told ya I'd be more social next time ;) )
She was from Maine, America. 20 years old, in the Netherlands for 9 months orso. Wants to transfer from the art academy or whatever its called in, which is located in a city more up north, around the 'central' point of the Netherlands. Geographically speaking.
She hung out in the back of the group while we wandered around, sooo I talked to her the most.
Now, there where also two other people. A girl, age 22. And a boy age 15. We exchanged birth-months and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was not the youngest. Yay!

Ok, if you thought that Yay! was sarcasm, go see a eyedoctor.

We had to draw two things, design a flyer and draw a Coca Cola can realistically.

Also 1 on 1 interviews. Wooohooo!
There were only two people who had brought portfolio's. Or in my case, a partial portfolio. Sooo, that was me and the girl from America.
No mean things ment orso. I'm just terrible, terrible with names. Sorry.
She had a whole map full of drawings. And I had forgotten my photography map....
Yes, I have shouted at myself much for this.

Well, onto the actual interview. I got a intereview with a man who promptly wanted to take a picture of me. Booooo, why booo? I'm pretty camera-shy.
We started talking, he found out I'm a bit of a problem child, he said that the reason was that I'm intelligent.
And from there it just got worse and worse, I now understood why at the beginning he said that students said that he is a bastard.

Wait, that sentence doesn't run, oh well. I'l just blaim it on my being a 15-year old non-native english speaker.

Bla bla bla. Talked to the other boy a bit when everybody was away. (Because if a teacher was there....Or just in general, it was deathly silent) Sooo just more social for some reason.

The 22 year old saw that as I was paying the administration costs, I was handing over 5 more euros then the cost. She told me and I complimented her. Ca-ching.

And after that I left with a smooth goodbye of. 'Well hopefully goodbye'.

Ding dong the wicked witch is dead.

Or is she? No she isn't. We just have to wait if she's really dead. Crap.

Or translated : The inteview is over, woohoo!
No its not, you have to wait for the results to see if you got in. Crap.

Now, onto exams. I'm just going to scrap the major part of my dislike of busses and skip to the last exam. Yesterday.
Biology! Came in a couple of minutes before they let people into the hall. Exam was much and I did terrible on it. Now its waiting for the results.
On the way back we got a aggresive driver, who almost crashed us twice. Being saved only by a good set of brakes on a van and a set of good eyes.
Train back went nicely.

Now there are some stuff about the exams I'm forgetting to tell you, I remember that they happend, but not all of it. So I'm saving that for a future post. This one is long enough as is. I'm just gonna make a conclusion :

I'm going to fill out paperwork of applying to colleges today.
Erm, blargh, my head isn't working anymore.
Adios, till the next update we meet!

Procrastination Problems after a weekend of fun.

The LARP'ing was GREAT.
Despite that both my sword and shield broke eventually over the course of the weekend. I had a great time. Don't worry, both are repair-able. But now is not the time for that.
I got a cloak made, and it was verah good.
Had lots of fun, got some msns and even got some hugs IRL at the end of the event. Gooo me.


Now on the course of several other things.
The College application. I got it and the test. I've partially filled out the application and the home-test. Both are due on the 27th when I have the school-test and the interview.

Now on a more worrying topic. I have not studied at all.



Yes. This worries me much. Its only a low-level* high school exam.
I've got a couple of days and then exams start. I really need to start studying.
Cookiemanjaro knows what'l happen if they say I failed and have to spend another year where I'm at now.

Also, summer job. I'l of around two months of summer vacation if I graduate and get into a college. And they're having open applications at a local supermarket for .....damn, what do you call it in english? Dunno....Well its basically filling up empty spaces in the racks and helping customers if they ask you something.
Anyway, so I'm trying to write a sollicitation letter for that. Yay. ALso have to scrap toghetter a curriculum vitae.

I'l probably make another post in the remainder in this month, either somewhere in the middle of my exams or after the 27th and talking about how it went.

Busy!

Mainly with two things, preparing for a LARP event next weekend and exams.

Well more kinda preparing for LARP.... I'm too good at procrastinating school. I've not actually studied...I may have said that I was studying to people.....

>.>
<,<

But don't worry, after the LARP, I will study.

Now, LARP'ing.

I am part of a organisation which has around 200 members. A good 30-50 of them being in Belgium. Now there are two LARP's. Elerion, which is for adults. So 18+.

No. Not that kind of 18+, you pervert.
That one is hosted twice a year.
And then there's the other one, De Bron, which, translated into english means : The source, or the spring. Silly english synonyms.
Its hosted once a year and is for age 14-18. Thats the one where I'm at.

Now a little bit about how I got into LARP'ing, for that we need a bit more on my family.
You see, a part of my family is geeky. One of my aunts, a cousin of mine(her daughter), my cousins fiancee. Now my cousin, on top of playing DnD, also LARP's.
My brother got introduced to it by her, when the Bron got set up. That was the Bron 1.
I was just a ickle little bit to join that one, so I had to wait a year. Me and my brother both played in the Bron 2. My cousin wasn't there, because there was a baby on the way. Isn't coming to this one either, the baby takes time and energy, y'know.

Now my brother is 18, depending on when your birthday falls, you get to be in the Bron or Elerion. Now he doesn't get into the Bron anymore. But he's coming as a, what you would call in DnD, npc. (Have to be 18+ for that). So my brother comes along, but not as a player. This also means that I'l be on the sight earlier. And so that its fair to other players. I'l most likely be stuck in the kitchen, making sandwiches for a couple of hours.

Have I confused the brains out of you yet? No? Then I suppose I shall go on.

Now last year, I rented equipment. This time, I'm making my own sword and shield.
And I will tell you, the one thing that you'l remember most, are the fumes. So those take up some time, I tell you.

I'l probably end up renting a cloak though.

After the Bron 3, I have three things. Upcoming exams I need to study for, my second year at gitp, anniversary thus, somehow will have to celebrate and a letter from Graphics Lyceum coming in, containing a sign up form and a allowance test.

So I'l update my blog about those four things before the 18th, when my exams start.

Start of Blog! The Past of DD and other stuff!

This is DD, C(ookie)monster, Dallas-Dakota, Beriothien, Maxx or however you net peoples know(I'l be forced to sniper you if you met me in RL first and then discovered this blog, so that RL will not invade my life here on the nets) me reporting. Woohoo! Long first sentences.

First of all, I would like to be stupid and link people straight away to another blog, thus destracting people from reading mine(if any). Who's is that, you may ask? It is Bor's blog, or you may know him as either Rob Meadows or Bor the Barbarian Monk. He is a good friend of mine, he struggles with poverty and ilnesses both mental and physical.

Now. About me :
I live in the Netherlands(That lil' country west of Germany, north of France and east of the UK, which has Rotterdam and Amsterdam for the ignorant). I'm 15 years old, to be 16 in June. I'm in my last year of high school(if all go's well) I'm currently applying to the International Media Design Course, on the Grafische Lyceum (graphics school) in Rotterdam. More on that later.

I've grown up in a normal elementary school, once doing a year twice. I was recommended both HAVO and Gymnasium. I could do Gymnasium, but I'd have to work hard for it.
For all of you non-dutch people, who don't know the dutch schooling system. There are seven levels of dutch high school. From left to right, highest to lowest, hardest to easiest.
VWO, which consists of Gymnasium and Atheneum. HAVO, which is just HAVO. And then you have VMBO. VMBO has four levels. And there we go again! TL - GL - PL - BG.

And so I started out at a 'small school'(around 800 students) which hosted to only Gymnasium. As my parents thought it best I was at a small school. All went fine, except French and Latin. I horribly failed at that, sadly. It was the best school I've ever been at. Or maybe thats because it was mainly before a lot of my problems started. So I failed on French and Latin. I could go and do a year over. But that was not adviced, and ickle little me followed the advice.
I also had started to get troubles reading the teachers writings. Sitting practically always in the back of the class. My head started to hurt slowly, but eventually I couldn't ignore it anymore, I after a month orso, maybe two months went to a opticien(eye people!) and they told me I needed glasses for far reading. I got the classes, and occasionaly wore them when I was sitting at the back of the class. I forgot them a lot.

In the summer vacation it would be my anniversary. What? DD has a girlfriend? Why Didn't he tell anybody? Seriously?
Nope, it was my third year anniversary of going to therapists. Why did DD go to therapists? Because his parents ordered(DD sure was tired of therapy) him to. He'd been around 5 different therapists, all with their own methods and therapies. None had worked to solve the problem within DD that he had with his parents.(Apperently a once-ocurring genetic problem, since my brother shares it) We just argue, a lot. Sure, we occasionaly have good times. But we argue much. There's even been a summer holiday once where it was cancelled(We ALWAYS go on summer holiday, practically always went) because of problems between my brother(sided with him, 'course) and my parents because they wanted to send him part-time to a instition or something therapy blabla. I apparently had a few symptons, so they labelled me with Authism, PDDNOS. The rest-group.

I went to go and do HAVO. I applied to one of the two remaining high schools in the city. They said they were full. I didn't apply to the other one, I didn't apply to because my parents said it gave me way to much independence and that wouldn't work for me. So I applied to a school in the neighbouring city/town(they say city, we say town).

Great, this'l work! Nope, I horribly failed at French and German(You only get latin at the Gymnasium, you start at german in your second year), and some other grades too because stress got me down. Stress caused me being ill a lot and migraines. Which in turn caused more stress to not fail classes. Somewhere, I can't remember where in that year, my doctor referred me to the neurologist, whom I visited a couple of times and he gave me the diagnosis of Chronic Migraine. And he gave me a prescription of Naproxen with it. Around this year, somewhere, I had also gotten sleeping problems. The doctor prescribed Melatonine, which my brother is also on and works fine for him. It works fine for me too. I just have the nasty habbit of waking up once or twice a night. Lucky if I don't wake up in the middle of the night.

Nope. No schools that'l work for you left now. We recommend you go to ...Hold your breath people! Special education! Gotta love how they designed it. There's practically anything to do with the mind, therapies etc. But not special education. And the closest one was so far that I had to take the train every day. The joys. Well there was one, I met a old classmate, who also had to take the same train I did everyday. Woohooo! Somebody I could get along with, dare I say ...friend?

Now special education people, is basically what my parents were all against after my first year. You do EVERYTHING on your own. You're lucky if you're told your assignments before they're due. You have to ask people for work and they might give it to you in a couple of weeks. Why? Because I'm at a small school with around (40-50 students(Somehow we need around 10 teachers). Most of the students in the upper years are either smokers, drugs junkies or WoW players, or a mix of them. Most of the lower years just have something severely wrong with their head. And my school can't hold exams(Hey, its their first year at exams too! Wonderfull) because they're too small. Now the bigger school, with who we're doing exams with, and examine the tests don't have too actually return the tests for it to go to the goverment and thus being fine. To this day, I still don't know some of my grades from my last test week ( some three weeks ago)

DD! DD! Cmon! Where's the artistry you promised? Huh? In the title!

Ah yes. I was told by my art teacher(crayons and pencils only, the rest is tooooo dangerous!) that I was friggen' fantastic. My somehow still naive mind had vaguely believed that. The only previous things with art that I have done was being horrible at writing and drawing in elementary(Even to go so far that back when I was in my third or fourth year of elementary that I got some kinda therapy or whatsitcalled in english to help me properly move my chorocraphy or something) and drawing in OOTS style. Now OOTS style, I drawn in Inkscape. A vector-based program. Thus being not really artistic. But I had started drawing IRL. And as they say, it came true. I became better with practice. I still suck, but I'm better now.

I've done some cartographing, drawing maps IRL and got one or two assignments still standing.
With a teacher at the International Design Course saying he didn't know wether I should be placed in first or second year, I signed up. Note, I signed up for photography first, which has been a hobby of mine for about 3/4 years now, but they said it was full ater more then a month of waiting(lovely). Now there's a few spots left, I got my application form and test coming in somewhere around the tenth and a application interview the 27th.

Now, on gitp. The forums that come along with the Order of the Stick webcomic. Despite the downs that it sometimes gets from the massive viewing of the comics(It also hosts erfworld)/forums. It's community is bloody fantastic. Here is where I met Bor, he had founded the 'depression' thread there, to help people with their problems. We've had our many downs and a few little ups, less then I'd like. We've told eachother about them, adviced eachother, supported eachother. And despite the age difference(Bor is in his early 40's), he and I have become very good friends. The commmunity and Bor have kept me alive through these years. I've had depressions, a broken heart, rejections from schools and lots of things. But they are there for me. And I am there for me. And I want to hug them to death. And more recently, Goober, who I met via-via from gitp mass msn chats.

Also, for my new and original name.
Gamer = I'm a gamer, while I may not game as much as some, I'm a strategy, platform and hack 'n slash player. The game I most play is Diablo II Lord of Destruction. No. I do not play WoW.
Hippie = I have a big fondness of peace(not the same as pacifism!), I've been told on multiple times that I look stoned and/or high.
Death = I'm close to it, I love the darkness and love the colour black.

Now this is the conclusion, I've had some severely sucking years, but gitp pulled me through. Future entries will be shorter.